Love in times of jihad
Jupinderjit Singh
My relationship with my father is like a chessboard. Black squares for silence and white for peace. But rarely colorful. Yet, I believe that no one can leave a better impression, good or bad, on a man's psyche than his father. While a mother teaches values to shape one’s character, the action, behaviour and advice of a father leaves an imprint on one's thinking process and personality. Though we are rarely on the same page on the majority of issues, I remember his secular line of thinking in these days of angry reactions to love jihad.
It was the time of the troubled 1980s. Relations between Hindus and Sikhs were on the knife’s edge. When Operation Bluestar happened and a curfew was imposed, he was trapped far away in Patna, where he was posted. When he finally returned, he narrated how the lives of Sikhs in other states were threatened. We hardly slept that night.
The next morning there was a knock on the door. Who had come at this hour? He got worried but opened the door. There was an old Sikh priest, who tried to hug Dad weeping. “I heard you were badly treated. We must retaliate.” My father shoved him away. “Don't exploit our emotions. If there was peace in Punjab, there would have been peace outside also.”
A few months later, he was trapped in anti-Sikh riots. His Hindu friends and trainees saved him. Back home, during our rare morning walk together, he said there was only one way to end the hatred. That was Hindu-Sikh marriages. “I wish one of my two sons marry a Hindu girl.” And that I did.
Can Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians kill one another when tied in such knots?
Swords and pens are out on love jihad these days. Even the marriage between India’s Sania and Pakistan's Shoib Malik has been targeted. So much that Sania’s nationalism is questioned. Kapil’s comedy nights has brought Indian and Pakistani artistes together. Why indulge in war and riots when we can have love and laughter together?
A friend of mine feels it is all because of lack of trust. Talking on a lighter note, he narrated an interesting episode on how he earned by the trust of a complete stranger. At a media conference a few years ago, he met an old flame. All participants, including some from South East Asia, stayed in the same guest house. He managed to sneak in her room late at night as her roommate had not arrived. Both caught up with old times when well past midnight there was a knock on the door. First gentle, then a loud one. As both were startled at the impending scandal if caught, they took time to decide and face the situation. When they opened the door, they saw a beautiful Pakistani girl, clad in a ravishing long kurta and salwar, pulling in two big suitcases. She was confused to see them.
“I didn't know they had put males and females together in a room. I don't think I can go to another room. What should we do?”
“No no..you stay”, my friend told her. I had just come for chit chat. She was scared alone, you know,” my friend said. The Pak girl rolled her eyes.
When they met again at the conference, her gaze made it clear that she had understood everything. To end his panic, fearing a scandal if she spread the word, the girl whispered to him while munching the lunch, “Your secret is safe. Long live Indo-Pak friendship!”
first published : http://www.tribuneindia.com/2014/20140910/edit.htm
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