Abandoned bridegrooms of punjab

NRI brides dump and dupe their Punjabi grooms
Jupinderjit Singh
Tribune News Service

Chandigarh, July 31
Surjit Singh (name changed) was on cloud nine when he received a marriage proposal from an Indian-Canadian girl in 2009. Like lakhs of Punjabi youths, the Raikot resident, too, aspired to go abroad. When the girl’s family asked for Rs 25 lakh for taking him abroad, Surjit readily agreed.

In 2011, he paid Rs 10 lakh more to his in-laws for processing VISA papers. Five years after his wedding, Surjit is still in India. His NRI wife never took him along. Worse, Surjit hasn’t heard from her in the last three years.

Dumped and duped, Surjit’s woes haven’t ended even after making umpteen rounds of police stations. He can’t remarry as ex-parte divorce is not acceptable in India. He has no source of income as he had sold his land to arrange money for going abroad.

While tales of NRI youths dumping their brides are familiar in Punjab, Surjit’s case adds a fresh twist to this sordid saga. In a role reversal, a significant number of girls, mostly NRIs, are “abandoning their husbands” after taking money from the groom’s family. The NRI wing of the Punjab Police, with its headquarters at Mohali, and other police stations across the state have received 40 such complaints this year.

IG Gurpreet Deo, who heads the NRI wing, said in most cases the girls

were from Canada, United States and England. The data reveals most duped youths were from the Moga-Jagraon belt with some cases being reported from Bathinda and Jalandhar too.

“Most complaints of abandoned husbands relate to contract marriages (where money is given as a fee for going abroad). The police is contacted when all communication between the two sides ends. In the case of Surjit, the man waited for several years before approaching the police,” she said.

Deo said the actual number of ‘abandoned husbands’ would be much more. “We have noticed that men feel more social embarrassment after being abandoned and are hesitant to approach us,” she said.

While in the case of abandoned brides, the groom’s family usually accuses the girl of not being of good character and bringing insufficient dowry, the women have abandoned men on grounds of impotency and incompatibility.

There have been also cases where Indian girls have abandoned their NRI husbands after marriage. An NRI from Canada Amrik Singh (name changed) has filed a complaint a Jalandhar girl, who along with her brother and parents, has been declared a proclaimed offender.

The police investigation reveals the girl wanted to migrate abroad. Her parents had migrated, but the girl’s papers were rejected. She married Amrik and after getting the Canadian Permanent Resident Certificate, she went to meet her parents and never returned.

Later, when a case was registered, she accused Amrik of impotency even though they had lived together for a year. Medical examination revealed that the youth had no such problem. Later, the girl accused her husband and in-laws of harassing her for dowry.

Deo said the legal recourse for abandoned grooms is the same that is available for dumped brides, “After a case of cheating is established and an FIR is lodged, the accused are declared proclaimed offenders. If they don’t join investigation, their properties are attached,” said Deo.

Role reversal

Stories of NRI youths dumping their brides are not unusual in Punjab. The state, however, is experiencing a role reversal.
A significant number of girls, mostly NRIs, are “abandonding their husbands” after taking money from the groom’s family.
The NRI wing of the Punjab Police and other police stations across the state have received 40 such complaints this year.