Is man a puppet in the hands of destiny?....Jupinderjit Singh wonders

Is man a puppet in hand of destiny 0r some powerful people or a pawn in the hand of his organisation/employers? who drives the person? some invisible force tossing him here and there. I look for answers to those troubling questions that face me as I begin yet new chapter of struggle in my life.

Just few months ago, I was struggling to settle my feet in Rajasthan. No doubt an incredible;e state, with its vast diverse and glorifying culture, tradition and most of all the forts, the palaces and tales of valour. Desert and arid land they say hurts the eye but It was only here that I could see the most clear sky, day and night, in my life. The stars seemed so close and bright that I could touch them.

Truly an amazing place where I was able to meet so many persons in less than sic months. First four months of the stay were a constant torture as I went around trying to settle, making contacts for a newspaper which is not known to three out of five persons. Yes, I met really great personalities but very few touched my heart. There were times when I felt so lonely that I cried at night. I could not sleep. It had become a habit to get up to sleep late at around midnight and waking up every half an hour and finding oneself lonely.

Since last month when I covered Jaipur literature festival and travelled to the border and other cities, I was gradually falling in love with the place. But as destiny is, I have to go away now. To Jammu as in charge of an edition. New place, new people, new issues, new challenges.

Yes, I too feel what all Indians feel. "Daana Paani hi itna tha." So was it that I had to give something back to this wonderful land and the people here. It was not that I met good people. I met worst also. People who gave me lot of pain. I was particularly peeved at the condition of women in this land. They are malnutritioned and suppressed. Despite having a women speaker of Vidhan Sabha and State chief minister till recently,. the women are down trodden lot.

Ironically, the look like Al Qaieda activists as they come out on the road only in muffled faces. Some one told me they save themselves from tanning. But at 8 pm also????? probably they know any trouble on road and they may not be allowed to study roam out.

Yes, I am happy to get the opportunity. But leaving the state in just six months, with so many projects, stories and relations left in between, I feel like an aborted foetus. So strange, just few weeks ago, I wanted to get out of this state and today when I am on the verge of leaving it, I feel sad.

Why is it so? Am I the openly person sensitive to feel so. May be some will call me an emotional fool, week hearted persons. But my life and achievements prove those wrong. May be it is just human to feel bad when you leave a place.

It is the temporariness of life, events, relations that bugs me again. All my life I have been struggling to find an answer on why things, experiences and relations remain temporary. Some times death snatches near ones while other time it is life only which distances ourselves from each other.