MIDDLE
published in The Tribune, April 16, 2010
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2010/20100415/edit.htm#5
Taste me not
by Jupinderjit Singh
LOVE is “hurt me not” and liquor is “taste me not”. This was an important lesson my mother taught me early in life. Now she takes pride in the fact that she inculcated an anti-liquor spirit in me since I am a teetotaller. And its smell can make me sick and trouble my soul as well.
But don’t try telling this to ardent lovers of Bacchus. Every tippler I have come across goes all out to prove that I have not graduated from soft drinks and thus am not a grown-up man.
Several pass me off as henpecked and others say I am under the thumb of my wife. Well, she has faced many such braggarts who tell her to let me live, as if wine was the elixir of life.
The other day, I was in the august company of tipplers comprising policemen, journalists and sportspersons. “You should take one or two pegs to avoid indigestion, son,” advised a considerate pot-bellied elderly.
“But it is injurious to health,” I tried to argue.
“Rubbish, I am drinking for decades. Even today I can down a bottle,” said another, gulping a Patiala peg while fitting with difficulty in the garden chair.
In walked a frail Uncle holding a drink. “I made my wife respect me a lot today,” he said. All heads turned towards him as if he had won an Olympic medal.
“She started nagging before my rendezvous with my first love (read liquor) began today, called me a drunkard bastard, who ruined her life. Then I told her about you (he pointed at a retired cop) who drinks with the dawn and ends with the dusk. I begin with sunset only,” he said chuckling at his wit.
The ex-cop made a face. “I am not a drunkard. Has anyone found me lying on roadside, unable to reach my house? People found on roads are real drunkards,” he chuckled.
“It’s no big deal,” said a veteran player,”One should not be found in a drain. That means you lost it.”
“I disagree,” butted in another. “If you reach home on your own after falling in a drain, the booze hasn’t overpowered you. It does when you are brought home,” he argued as all knew he fell in a drain a few times but had reached home by himself.
“No, sir,” a journalist chipped in,” It is still OK if you are escorted home. But it is all gone if you are licked by a dog, when you are in the drain,” he said munching a tandoori chicken leg piece brutally.
“I say, if a dog licks you and you know what he is doing, then all is well,” said a sportsman as all broke into guffaws with their pot bellies jumping up and down vigorously.
I sat and blinked unbelievingly at the group of Bacchus lovers. True, as someone said, “Daaru di yaari, sab to waddi te nyari” (No bond is stronger than the one between booze and the boozer).
4 comments:
Its good that u sticking to the lesson ur mother told u in early childhood. Very few follow. But these days people don't fall in drains after drinking especially in urban areas because in most of the cities drains have been closed. In villages yes, these scenes are common. Closure of drains has put the lives of boozers at risk because they were still safe in the `chocked' drains as no traffic movement used to be towards one corner. Nowadays the fast moving traffic crushes the man lying on the roadside and at times u can see them crushed in the middle of the road as well.Drunkards have saved themselves from the stink of the drains in many cities but yes have risked their lives more.......
thx Rakhi for appreication. but if in your immediate surroundings, or city drains are covered that doesnt mean drains all over the state or country are covered. Even in Ludhiana there are very areas where drains r not covered. or come to jammu to see open drains all around...
I never said that drains are closed everywhere, i mentioned that in most of the cities they are closed and boozers lives are at higher risk in the cities with closed drains.I have seen the Jammu drains during my recent visit.
Stop drinking
The middle “Taste me not” by Jupinderjit Singh (April 15) was interesting. In fact, it was a fine satire against those who consider alcohol drinking a status symbol. Those who don’t drink are considered backward and teetotallers are often made fun of.
Actually, drinking is a social evil, which has ruined many families. To make matters worse, youngsters have made alcohol drinking a style statement. Drinking alcohol can damage one’s health. Many road accidents are caused due to drunken driving.
LETTER TO EDITOR published in The Tribune
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2010/20100420/letters.htm
It is time we stopped playing havoc with precious lives. Wives should take initiatives and stop their husbands from drinking. Children should be educated about the adverse effects of liquor addiction. Let us resolve to make society alcohol free.
VIPIN SEHGAL, Kurukshetra
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